- Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore (via larmoyante)
*knocks you out with a calculator* bet you weren’t counting on that
Don’t tell me. We’re about to go over a huge waterfall
sharp rocks at the bottom?
bring it on
we all know that one person you get sexually frustrated just looking at
"suck my dick"
"nah sorry i have a shrimp allergy"
I feel the need to sing the instrumentals of a song as much as I feel the need to sing the lyrics.
why put cookie dough in the oven when you can put it in your mouth
because I don’t want salmonella….
then don’t eat salmon….